Oscar De La Huerte answered
There's nothing worse than that feeling you get when you suspect a partner is being unfaithful. The worst part is that, until you can tell for sure, doubt will continue eating away at you and your confidence.
Whilst there's no quick-fix answer to resolving complex situations like this, you may want to consider the following steps:
Watch her like a hawk It may not be fun, and hopefully it'll only prove her innocence, but increased surveillance is going to be necessary. This comes with the associated risk that if she isn't cheating on you (and she finds out you've been 'spying' on her) she may hit the roof.
You don't need to hire a private detective right away, just start off small. Pay a little extra attention to her habits and schedule. If your instinct tells you something's not right then following her in an unmarked transit van may be an option.
Looking out for signs of cheating Chances are, the person who knows your girlfriend best is you (unless there's another man that knows her better!) - so you should be able to pick up on things that deviate from her normal routine. Whilst none of these constitute hard proof that she's giving you the runaround, it may be worth keeping an eye out for the following:
Let's talk about cheating You may at some point consider confronting her about cheating, just to see how she reacts. Unless you are confident that you are correct, this is a no-go area, though.
In my experience, cheaters will try and deny everything until they are faced with undeniable evidence. Accuse her without water-tight evidence and you are likely to hit the World War III of domestics. There is a certain amount of guilt involved in wrongly accusing someone of cheating - and if you can't prove she's done anything, she'll probably take you to the cleaners with the guilt trip.
Ask her friends This does not mean go up to her friends and ask them if she's having an affair, but many times a girl's friends will know more about your girlfriend than you do.
The best way to approach her friends is to talk about your relationship to them and look out for subtle hints that the conversation is making them uncomfortable. You may even want to drop in a bit of psychology and go on to them about how much you 'love your girlfriend and how you trust her implicitly and are so glad to finally be with someone that loves you the same way you love them'. At this point, there is a likelihood that one of her friends will crack.
Whilst these steps may not bring you any joy, they might go some way in helping you find out exactly what's going on in your relationship. Whatever happens, I'd recommend keeping an open mind and not jumping to conclusions throughout your 'investigations'.
Whilst there's no quick-fix answer to resolving complex situations like this, you may want to consider the following steps:
Watch her like a hawk It may not be fun, and hopefully it'll only prove her innocence, but increased surveillance is going to be necessary. This comes with the associated risk that if she isn't cheating on you (and she finds out you've been 'spying' on her) she may hit the roof.
You don't need to hire a private detective right away, just start off small. Pay a little extra attention to her habits and schedule. If your instinct tells you something's not right then following her in an unmarked transit van may be an option.
Looking out for signs of cheating Chances are, the person who knows your girlfriend best is you (unless there's another man that knows her better!) - so you should be able to pick up on things that deviate from her normal routine. Whilst none of these constitute hard proof that she's giving you the runaround, it may be worth keeping an eye out for the following:
- Mystery phone calls and text messages
- Dressing up to go out for mundane reasons
- A change in her general behaviour
- Changes in your sex life
Let's talk about cheating You may at some point consider confronting her about cheating, just to see how she reacts. Unless you are confident that you are correct, this is a no-go area, though.
In my experience, cheaters will try and deny everything until they are faced with undeniable evidence. Accuse her without water-tight evidence and you are likely to hit the World War III of domestics. There is a certain amount of guilt involved in wrongly accusing someone of cheating - and if you can't prove she's done anything, she'll probably take you to the cleaners with the guilt trip.
Ask her friends This does not mean go up to her friends and ask them if she's having an affair, but many times a girl's friends will know more about your girlfriend than you do.
The best way to approach her friends is to talk about your relationship to them and look out for subtle hints that the conversation is making them uncomfortable. You may even want to drop in a bit of psychology and go on to them about how much you 'love your girlfriend and how you trust her implicitly and are so glad to finally be with someone that loves you the same way you love them'. At this point, there is a likelihood that one of her friends will crack.
Whilst these steps may not bring you any joy, they might go some way in helping you find out exactly what's going on in your relationship. Whatever happens, I'd recommend keeping an open mind and not jumping to conclusions throughout your 'investigations'.
