First of all you need to check your assumptions. Through observation and (civil) dialog with this person (and those who know this person), you need to determine if the nastiness is directed at you personally and only you, or if it is directed at you because
- you're handy, and someone else is the preferred target
- you're handy, and anyone else is an equally likely alternate target
- you remind this person of someone else (an "ex" for example)
- you remind this person of themselves
- anyone who is perceived as some sort of threat receives this treatment
- this person thinks what they're saying constitutes good advice for you
- this person cannot get attention from you in any other way.
Non-violent communication may be of help in this. In a non-accusatory way, you can let the other person know what you're hearing them say, and how that makes you feel. (You must own that they are your own feelings and that you have chosen to feel this way. Often, you will find that this person does not intend to make you feel this way, or that you are misunderstanding what they are trying to tell you.) If the issue remains, you describe how you want to feel, and you ask one simple request they can easily do that will resolve the issue for you when they do it.
If this person is simply seeking to engage in interaction with you, it may be a simple matter for you to acknowledge their existence whenever you meet. Once they get that recognition from you, they may be satisfied. The interaction can be quite superficial, just as long as it is non-zero.
If you cannot resolve the issue yourself, you should ask for help. It may be best to engage another person "this person" respects (or fears). Have your helper lay down the acceptable rules of interaction with you, and make sure that consequences occur when they are broken.
If you have tried the options available for maintaining some sort of relationship, and if they have failed, you have no choice but to protect yourself and disengage completely with this person. In some cases, that may mean moving some distance away, or seeking legal action against this person.
In the meantime, it doesn't hurt to pray for this person. It may also be beneficial in the long term to "turn the other cheek". ("Wow, that hurt! Do you have another insult like that?") The former can help adjust your own attitude, as well as invoking outside help. The latter can help this person see what they are doing to you and make them question whether that is really what they want to be doing.
Good luck.
- you're handy, and someone else is the preferred target
- you're handy, and anyone else is an equally likely alternate target
- you remind this person of someone else (an "ex" for example)
- you remind this person of themselves
- anyone who is perceived as some sort of threat receives this treatment
- this person thinks what they're saying constitutes good advice for you
- this person cannot get attention from you in any other way.
Non-violent communication may be of help in this. In a non-accusatory way, you can let the other person know what you're hearing them say, and how that makes you feel. (You must own that they are your own feelings and that you have chosen to feel this way. Often, you will find that this person does not intend to make you feel this way, or that you are misunderstanding what they are trying to tell you.) If the issue remains, you describe how you want to feel, and you ask one simple request they can easily do that will resolve the issue for you when they do it.
If this person is simply seeking to engage in interaction with you, it may be a simple matter for you to acknowledge their existence whenever you meet. Once they get that recognition from you, they may be satisfied. The interaction can be quite superficial, just as long as it is non-zero.
If you cannot resolve the issue yourself, you should ask for help. It may be best to engage another person "this person" respects (or fears). Have your helper lay down the acceptable rules of interaction with you, and make sure that consequences occur when they are broken.
If you have tried the options available for maintaining some sort of relationship, and if they have failed, you have no choice but to protect yourself and disengage completely with this person. In some cases, that may mean moving some distance away, or seeking legal action against this person.
In the meantime, it doesn't hurt to pray for this person. It may also be beneficial in the long term to "turn the other cheek". ("Wow, that hurt! Do you have another insult like that?") The former can help adjust your own attitude, as well as invoking outside help. The latter can help this person see what they are doing to you and make them question whether that is really what they want to be doing.
Good luck.
