I've been in the same position and although it may seem childish... Try giving him some of his own medicine. Go shopping, hang out with friends, do or take the kids out (if you have children). Act as if you have little if no time for him. On a older level.. You can always go to God with your problems.. Yes, he might not give you the answer when you want it, but I'm sure he will show you and let you decide on what to do about your marriage. When I was about to get married to this guy I was with for 6 years, I got on my knees and cried to the Lord and asked him to bless us if it was in his will , and asked him to show me or give me a sign if we were not to be...Believe it or not..just that next month I started finding female numbers... People I knew saw him with other women hugging/kissing..I'm saying when God shows you..you might not like what you see, but all wrong doing will be in the open. Just get in the bible and wait for Gods answer..I know it will be worth the wait.
From a male perspective, I think he is probably going through a sort of male menopause. He may feel he is becoming less attractive and too old to be of interest to other women. By working his charms on other women he is probably testing out that theory. It does not mean he will be unfaithful to you, but if he thinks he is getting positive responses from other women ,then he will get a confidence booster. Its a risky game to play, but for most men it is just a game. I am 50 now, and if I get attention from another younger woman I still get a buzz, even though I will be married 25 years next st valentines day. Most men know the boundaries and will not cross them. Its all about his self confidence not yours.
There are a lots of factors why men...and even women act and react like you and your husband. If you feel you want to save your relationship, try to ask him you both spend quality time together and do the most when you're all alone by yourselves as if there are no other people around but only the two of you.
Male menopause or no, your husband is taking you for granted. That stops now. Either he shapes up or he can ship right out. Start by not being there anymore. Don't cook dinner. Stop doing his laundry. Go to the movies, to the mall, to the library so he comes home to an empty house quite a few nights a week. Sign up for an evening class and stick to it. In other words, make yourself scarce.
When he jumps up on a whim and says, 'let's go to dinner', tell him you're busy and get yourself ready, get in the car, and go-- even if it's just to drive around town for awhile-- go have dinner by yourself; take a book with you. Go to the mall and kill a couple of hours.
In other words, take your relationship back to 'dating days' when he had to woo you. He's lost your respect by his behaviour and, in turn, has no longer any right to expect YOUR attentiveness. He now has to earn it back again.
Turn those tables-- don't sit there simpering and waiting for him to come to his senses, make him start wondering about YOUR interest in the marriage.
You just need to find some time for yourself. Tell him you need to talk about this issue because it is effecting your marriage. Communication is the key in a marriage if it hurts. Trust is a foundation that once broken is very hard to mend and the price is too great often which results in hurt and this pare.
My husband and I have been married for 4 months. He is constantly watching porn and looking at adult websites. He still has nude videos of him and 2 Exes. With no plans of getting rid of. He says they are apart of his life. We have sex about once a week. He watches the porn, with most times no intention of having sex with me. I constantly talks about how beautiful the women are. He rarely tells me the same. I don't mind occassionally watching porn with him. When I tell him that he makes me feel undesirable and I want this crap to stop he says to get over it. He will never stop looking. He hides pictures, websites and videos all the time. He doesnt even care that I have found them and pissed. What is he trying totell me? Is this worth saving?
